National Coming Out Day - affirmations and apologies

It’s National Coming Out Day!

Wherever you are on your journey, I believe you were created with intention by a God who loves more than we can imagine, that you are loved and cherished by the Divine, and you are needed - just as you are - to make Creation complete.

As someone ordained in a mainline Protestant denomination, I am so sorry for the many ways the church has gotten this wrong. I am sorry we spent generations in silence, and when we finally got around to considering “the question” of affirmation worth our time and energy, we flubbed our way through that as well. 

I’m sorry that many of us remain all too content to be silent on “the question” unless it comes up, and even then we far too often try to find some middle road of trying to articulate affirmation without ruffling feathers of those who would rather we didn’t.

At last week’s Evolving Faith conference in Denver, I learned from Austen Hartke these results from the the report “Growing Up LGBT in America”: when asked whether their faith community was accepting, 35% said no, 15% said yes, and 52% said they didn’t know.

More than half don’t know.

Silence on this is not innocuous. LGB youth are almost 5 times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers. And we know that if just one key “institution” (school, church, family, etc) affirms a youth, their risk for self-harming behavior and suicide decreases.

I am convinced, as someone who has spent more than the average amount of time studying Scripture and the history of the theologies that inform modern Christianity, that my LGBTQ+ siblings are loved by God just as they were created - their sexuality or gender expression is not a flaw or sin, but an aspect of who they were created to be in the image of God.

And if you’re a Christian and you disagree with that conclusion, I’ve been there, too. if you have any interest in dialoguing on how a Christian can believe that it’s ok to be LGBTQ+, I would love to have that conversation with you, and offer resources I’ve gathered along the way.

I was raised to believe that LGBTQ+ people didn’t require an adjective - they were just people, and it didn’t matter who they loved.

And then I encountered theology that encouraged me to believe and behave otherwise, and it was always a struggle for me. I thought I was operating from a place of love, but it was fear, and to be perfectly honest, it was also a place of ignorance.

Later I decided to really dig in to this question and was so relieved at what I found. I imagine there are others who feel that way - you want to let go of this and freely love our LGBTQ+ siblings, but feel bound by your theology. I hear you. I’ve been there.

But there are other options, and I would love to explore them with you.

These days I’m captivated by the mystery that the wide embrace of God is always more vast than I could possibly imagine. I am grateful for that truth, and grateful for each and every one of you, wherever you are on this journey.

Blessings on this National Coming Out Day. May we be honest. May we be ourselves. May we be kind.

(I believe the credit for this version of the PCUSA seal goes to Adam Walker Cleaveland)